19 and Pregnant

A couple weeks ago I had the joy of babysitting one of the cutest kids, Jacob. When it came time for dinner, I put him in his stroller and some of my friends and I headed to the on-campus dining hall. Pushing Jacob through the dining hall, I couldn't believe how many stares I got. I could feel all the eyeballs land right on me. Here I am, a 19-year old in college, wheeling around a baby in a stroller! It didn't take me long to realize that this could totally be my baby. The negative attention would make anybody feel unaccepted.

This got me thinking...Why are we so quick to judge?

From what I've observed in my own life and actions, my judgment towards others is always about me. By judging others, I am in some way trying to make myself feel better about the kind of person I am. Nobody judges simply to make observations about other people! It is always selfishly related back to us. Wow, that girl is pregnant? Glad that's not me. She's such a flirt; that’s why she gets the boys. I'm glad I'm not like that. Why does he always try to act super cool? It's totally just a cover-up. Good thing I'm real and genuine. Our judgments are failed attempts to somehow 'fool' ourselves into thinking that we are good, worthy people. Jesus tells a great story of to help us understand judgement and why it comes about. In the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, Jesus tells the story of two men going to church: one is a religious man, the other is an unbeliever who snuck in.

"He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 'Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even life up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."-Luke 18:9-14

First off, notice how Jesus is speaking to those who 'trusted in themselves that they were righteous'. Their righteousness isn't from God, and this leads them to treat others with contempt. Whenever we find ourselves somehow meriting our own righteousness or seeking it from others, we find that we start to become more...you got it...judgmental! In the next verse, notice how the Pharisee prays using "I" five times. I...I...I...this sort of repetition accents his self-centeredness. Rather than truly thanking God, he seems to brag about how religious he is, comparing himself to the tax collector. Not only this, but he's got a formula when it comes to practicing religion. While I would never want to turn anybody away from quiet time, getting involved in church, or going to small groups, there is no 'equation' that will lead you to Christ. Take journaling-it’s great; the Holy Spirit has guided me in my times of reflection to realize more about the desire and reverence I have to follow God. However, if I'm just going through the motions of journaling to check it off my list, it can be meaningless. While we do these small groups and church events, this in no way makes us any more worthy of God's grace. In the Parable, the Pharisee relies on his self-righteousness to feel closer to God. In contrast, the tax collector relied on God's mercy. He recognizes his own sin and brokenness and in turn this leads him to cry out before God. Whenever we hear 'Pharisee' we tend to think that that's not us...but when I look at my life and the fruit that comes from it, I have to analyze the motives that I have in serving God. While I pray that they aren't self-seeking, I have to admit that they are a lot of the time. Where am I seeking approval? How do I view myself and others? The more that I find out about God, the more that I realize my shortcomings, and the less judgemental I am. It's an inverse relationship-The more we are humbled before God, the less we judge.

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye"-Matthew 7:3

Again, a key theme in judgment is not being humbled over our own sin. We must realize that whenever we stand before the True Judge (James 4:12), we are alone. God's not going to line us up and compare us then make the cut.

"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. (12) So then each of us will give an account of himself to God"-Romans 14:10,12

Every person will give an account of his life to God at the judgment...I'm going to be quite honest, this kind of scares me. God, who is just, perfect, holy, and powerful beyond belief, is going to hear me give an account of my sinful self. We don't have our friends, our spouse, our parents to speak up for us...just God and I. I am so grateful He is loving and gracious and merciful...because me standing before God to give an account otherwise would be terrifying. God, and only God, is the true Judge. When judging others, we have no authority, validity, and meaning in our judgment other than to give ourselves false comfort. We see broken people, people who have really screwed up, and we automatically have ideas that pop into our head. We thank God for being blessed and not being like them. We underestimate God's power and hand in healing the broken and using situations to magnify His name. Just think of Bible stories-time and time again God specifically chooses the judged, broken people. Think David, Zacchaeus, Saul. Even the twelve disciples are a total surprise…just check out their bios! Of all the people for our Savior to choose to be his right-hand men, he chose them.

"You did not choose me, but I chose you"-John 15:16

One might think that they weren't good enough to be Jesus' disciples, but Jesus believed in them. When I judge, I am losing sight that the creator of the world chooses me. What a GREAT feeling to miss out on! Lord, you are so incredibly merciful and gracious. Thank you for choosing me! Thank you for Jesus, for looking past my shortcomings and extravagantly loving me despite them. Help me to find rest in that and to keep me from the temptation of judgment. I always say I am 'unworthy', but I don't think I really feel that way. When I seek for identity in comparing myself to others, remind me that my identity is only found in you. When I see the broken, I don't want to judge-You are powerful and work in ways beyond what I can fathom. You choose the broken, so Lord, break my heart for you. I don't want to find comfort in this world, but discomfort in knowing that I continually turn away from you. Thank you for continually choosing me when I fail to choose you.